Sat at an outdoor coffee shop working quietly when two children walk up behind me.
Screaming kid and loudly chewing kid start randomly insulting me.
I look at them.
They flip me off.
I look at their Mother who is talking loudly on the phone with “an F this and a n****r that and oh no you didn’t and so I says to her with a mmm hmmm” as her dialect.
The Mother pointedly looks right at me and then right through me.
I go back to work.
Screaming kid stops screaming long enough to start poking at my touch screen.
I slap his hand away and he becomes screaming kid once more.
I look at Mother and she continues to look through me like I don’t exist, yammering away at a hundred miles an hour on her phone.
I open up a web browser while screaming kid tries reaching for the laptop again.
I navigate to PornHub and click on the first free video, unplug my headphones and turn the volume up.
“What is wrong with you?!” shouts the Mother, finally taking notice, “they’re just children.”
And finally she pulls loudly chewing kid and screaming kid away, stomping off to another table.
I go back to my work.
Porn is a far more effective deterrent to badly behaved children than a quiet word with the Mother ever could be.