What I want from a home? I want a home that wasn’t designed by a junior architect that has only ever lived with his parents, or in the college dorm, or a tiny little single room efficiency apt on the trendy upper Eastside.
That’s what I want.
I don’t need my Master Bedroom to be the biggest #!$%^@* #$%!ing room in the entire house just to impress girls I bring back to my place.
I don’t need the laundry in the basement when all the dirty clothes get put in hampers upstairs and I have to haul a hundred pounds of dirty laundry down five flights of stairs. And then a hundred pounds of clean laundry back upstairs.
I don’t need a bathroom with a shower right off the kitchen because my day doesn’t consist of rolling out of bed, doing a 5K then coming home to grab a power juice before hopping in the shower directly off the kitchen, throwing my clothes down the stairwell to the basement, natch, and finally running out the door to catch the L train.
I need more storage in my kitchen that holds more than a few glasses and plates and you can barely squeeze in an efficieny fridge/freezer because all that gets ate in this hypothetical home is Hungry Man microwave meals.
Let’s start with the basics first; don’t let homes be designed by people who don’t live in them in the same way I won’t let a kitchen designer who self-admittedly doesn’t cook who is trying to sell me an $80,000 kitchen but has all the culinary acuity of a deranged hamster only capable of burning a glass of water.